Skirts, Axes and the joys of hayfever

Well I have finally brought joy to the French, put smiles on their faces and have given them something to talk about and smile about (they’re very polite, until I mention it – which I figure is the best way, open and blonde, with the ability to laugh at yourself – they don’t out-rightly laugh!

I went to a meeting the other day, fortunately there weren’t that many people there and seeing it was forty minutes away, as usual, I needed the bathroom before it started.  The meeting didn’t last long – about half an hour and then I went to the back of the room to get something only to be accosted by two very concerned ladies (who I’m sure who laughing like heck behind their french accents).  Seems I had tucked my skirt into my tights and was merrily flaunting a “derriere” of lace underwear covered by black nylon!  Oh the embarrassment.

I pretty much thought that was that…tried to convince myself that they were the only two that had seen.  No such luck.  We went to dinner a few days later and the husband of the one concerned person had a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face.  I decided on the open and honest approach again (apparently in more ways then one..) and laugh about it.  Easy!

That was about three weeks ago.  On Saturday some folk popped in for coffee.  Maybe it’s something to do with the air in France but as they got up to leave and were standing chatting a bit, the one lady’s skirt fell down and landed by her ankles.  All was fine..all that was revealed was a very dense, non-see through black petticoat.  As I am wont to do, I leapt in to make her feel better as she was SO embarrassed.  I said,
“Never mind, something similar happened to me not so long ago, it happens to everyone sometime (not!)”.
And then my eyes were opened…..
Seeing I had opened the door, the flood of laughter came in with gusto.  ALL of them started to talk at once.
“Oh yes, that WAS funny!”
“We all saw but didn’t know how to tell you, not good for a man to say something..” (said by one elderly gentleman with tears of laughter in his eyes)
“Oh yes…but don’t worry, you have nice thighs, specially in long boots!”

Oh my goodness I wanted to die….I’m sending the embarrassment “out there” on this blog to finally let it go and see the funny side!  Go embarrassment go!

So the days have been deliciously warm, dare I say even hot (and then suddenly cool like today) but with them comes pollen, tons of it. I never used to suffer from hayfever until I moved to Cape Town and now here.  And living in the countryside of hundreds of different wildflower species and tons of grass…I am sneezing my head off, the husband is asfield nearby well to a lesser degree so shares in tissues have sky rocketed.  I decided to clear my head by getting stuck into some wood splitting so as soon as some antihistamine tabs had taken effect…off I went to join the dear one in the barn.

Splitting wood I’ve decided, is a science.  You have to lift the axe decisively, don’t wobble or lift it so far above your head that the weight of it carries you backwards (axes are surprisingly heavy).  According to the “not-so -dear-one”, it’s not necessary to stick your tongue out to aim, nor is it good if you bring the axe down “like a girl”. (Hello?  Have you SEEN me??)
Anyway, with all these instructions still ringing in my ears, I decided I was an old hat at this, I’ve chopped wood many times now, no problem.  But I haven’t chopped wood while doctored with Allergex and I didn’t bargain for a sudden giant sneeze that nearly sent me flying through the old stone barn wall!
The axe came down, hit the log in the middle with perfect precision, hit a knot in the wood (not good for splitting – it simply won’t happen) bounced off , carried on swinging and landed on my foot.

I did NOT want the husband to see.  Pain, such pain!  I carried on splitting wood.  Then made muttered something unintelligent and with head held high I “walked” outside.  It’s a good thing to wear gumboots, and it wasn’t the blade that came down, rather the head of the axe, so all I had was a cut across the top and a very blue swollen foot.

I got some sympathy…after only a very small lecture.

but “I’ll be back”….more logs await.

How are you all?  How’s winter?  I hear it’s come with a vengeance?


About M

I am at heart and artist...which spills over into other areas apart from the pastels, pencils, paintbrush and paper. I love cooking, I love gardening and I love nature. Leaving South Africa to come to France was difficult, but an adventurous challenge and together with my husband and two furry friends, I manage to do all that I love and more while I walk the 'Footpath to France'.
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5 Responses to Skirts, Axes and the joys of hayfever

  1. Karin Duncker says:

    Darling, at least you did have half the loo roll attached to your bottie. And by now you will be known as the foreigner with the gorgeous thighs. Nando’s would have come up will a brilliant line. As for the hacking of wood, leave it to the other half, those things are dangerous. Your blogs are the highlight of my week. Hugs K


  2. Marion Fuchs says:

    Your woodsplitting experiience is hilarious, but not the pain on your foot.
    Next time ask your “Dear One: to check on your skirt, it should actually not been tucked into your underwear, ha ha


  3. M says:

    Oh very funny you two!! Loo roll in my bottie – mmm..the french might actually die from laughter…don’t think they laugh THAT much!!! Hugs and love to you both!! Miss you! xxxx


  4. says:

    Thanks for making my day!!!
    Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!


  5. says:

    Oh ! Moraig ! Did I laugh !
    Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!


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