Hare-less in the Style of George Gregan!

wow another blog!  It’s Sunday and a few things came to mind during a sleepless night while a French Wedding was help in the ‘Sale de Fete’ in the Chateau grounds which finally broke up at 5 am this morning…I had a lot of time to think!

The Owner of the Chateau sent word that he, together with his wife and two whippets, were coming to the chateau for a photo shoot with a magazine linked to Vogue.  The Owners wife was going to be the model for a series of clothes and the chateau would be featured as well.  So armed with hare-in-pocket i spent a day or two making sure everything looked good and in place ready for the photographer, make-up artist and the rest of the party.  My Beloved and I were asked to  provide breakfast and a 5 course dinner and, as we are now friends with the owners, we asked to join them for that.
I was due to spend the day preparing dinner in between feeds and foraging.  During one feed, I took a break from being inside and with Thumper on my lap wolfing down milk in great quantities, I sat on a chair outside the back door overlooking the orchard and enjoyed the early morning sun.  The Dear One was in the chateau manning a very complicated coffee machine while breakfast was eaten.

Everything happened at once, Tass barked, a bird of prey flew overhead and Thumper shot out of my lap like a bullet.  He aimed for the fence surrounding our cottage and being so small, he jumped easily through the holes and into the wide world of the orchard.  Now I’ve since discovered that hares are not stupid and Thumps, even though he was so young, knew that his haven lay in the cottage so all he wanted to do, was get back through the fence and into our garden or even better, into the house which he now knew really well.  And there lay the problem.  If just Tass was in the garden, all would have been fine but Ted was there as well and, even though things are a little better now, all Ted could see at that point was a small toy or possible snack.

I tried everything to get Thumps to come to me but I was in a bit of a panic running up and down the outside of our fence like a mad goal keeper trying to keep this tiny furry flea from jumping through the fence.  The hare on the other hand, was getting more and more scared, frustrated and desperate and loud grunts were being given off which, in turn, set Ted off making the whole situation impossible…and I was alone in an orchard the size of a rugby field.  After  forty minutes, Thumps showed no sign of tiring and both Ted and Tass were in a frenzy of excitement.
I was red in the face.
Right.
Enough.
I took off my jersey to use as a net.  Thumps started to zigzag across the grass.
I threw my jersey over him and caught nothing but grass.
Another 10 minutes…(and I was due now to go into the chateau and greet everybody.)
In a move that would make Australian Rugby player (and Captain for many years) George Gregan proud – or dare I even say…mmm…dare I even verbalise the thought….would put him to shame, (there I said it!), I launched toward the fleeing hare, blue jersey held ready.
In smooth rugby tackle style I hit the grass, slid with the grace of snail across the the dew covered green, bounced over a molehill and landed in a twisted yoga position with my feet halfway over my head.
The crowd in my head roared!  Actually that was my roaring pulse caused by raised blood pressure but finally I had the ball…no, sorry, I held a trembling tiny little creature who bit my finger and tried to make it to freedom yet again.
I kissed him and spoke as soothingly as I could while spitting molehill out of my mouth and took him inside. The moment we were through the door, Thumper settled down, snuggled into my jersey and became calm again.  I tucked him into his house and hurried next door giving my hair a perfunctory pat.

When I look back, I shudder at what I must have looked like.
I walked in to the chateau garden room to find some of the best in the Paris and beyond fashion world sitting at the table chatting to my Beloved over coffee.  Polished nails, perfect make-up, clothes out of Vogue and there I was….
I apologised for my late appearance, told them I was making their dinner but that I had just scored a hare….
A sea of surprised faces….but after huffing and puffing through an explanation, sympathy and questions flowed and I think there was a dawning comprehension as to my appearance.  I came back to the cottage and looked in the mirror.
I don’t need to explain further.
I headed, yet again, for the shower.

Thumps was none the worse for wear and on his next excursion around the cottage,

Taylored Expressions Die and Stamp

he would suddenly jump into the air, do a little twist, look around in surprise and carry on exploring.  When he was tired, he’d come once more to my leg, go onto his hind legs, scratch on my jeans and I would reach down and put him in my pocket.  The next day, Sunday, we continued to crafting together.  Thought I’d just add a picture because why not, it’s out first card together and I was pretty distracted.

What a day that was, I feel quite worn out thinking about it!  Oh before I forget, if anyone out there reads and enjoys this blog, please press ‘follow’ and post comments, I would LOVE to hear from you and if you’ve had any experiences with hares, please let me know – all suggestions and advice or just comments are so welcome!
Chat soon!
Bisous
M xx